Note to believers everywhere: God apparently wants a do-over.
The first couple was Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve, according to a new divine memoir. The Book of Mormon is "a preposterous, laughable and absurd series of fairy tales," and Jesus -- well, there's no easy way to say this -- pleasured himself as a teenager.
Blasphemous? Most definitely. And that's exactly the point.
Former "Daily Show" executive producer David Javerbaum has assumed the voice of God in his new book, "The Last Testament: A Memoir by God." As might be expected, it's already too hot to handle for some major retailers.
Released on All Saints' Day by Simon & Schuster, the satiric faux tell-all has its own Twitter account, The Tweet of God, which has amassed 53,000 followers with such comic bits as, "The pope just sent me a friend request. Dammit! I hate it when employees try to suck up."
Javerbaum isn't shy about his intentions.
"This book was not written primarily to be polemic," he said. "It was written to sell a lot of copies and become a best-seller."
But there is a bit of a higher purpose -- creating a comic tome that his fellow unbelievers can get behind.