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PDF versionTo understand redemption, we must talk about death
by Bill Tammeus on Nov. 17, 2010
My Presbyterian congregation recently presented a four-part series on dying, which we gently called “end-of-life issues.”
Even when we talk about death in our death-denying American culture, we seem not to want to name it.
Why? We’re all dying. In my newspaper each day I find a list of people who’ve done it. We have a whole industry devoted to disposing of dead bodies. Our churches all have traditional worship services for when it’s time to acknowledge the death of a congregant.
But we put off making wills. We put off reconciling with friends and family. We put off drafting advance health care directives and appointing the people to hold our durable power of attorney and make health care decisions on our behalf when we can’t.
Why? Because maybe if we don’t talk about death it won’t rear its ugly head.
I’ve tried to write honestly about death for a long time. In fact, the first piece in my first book, A Gift of Meaning, is a column I wrote from my mother’s 1996 funeral. And the epilogue in that same book is a piece I wrote about the death of my nephew, who was a passenger on the first hijacked plane to smash into the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
This past summer I taught a weeklong writing class that I called “Death and Its Mysteries,” and I took the class to a funeral home so a funeral director could walk us through the process of what happens to a body from the time it’s received until it’s either cremated or buried. In fact, we all stood next to the crematory while it was reducing the body of one Joseph Rodriquez to ashes.
I mention all of this because our churches need to do a better job helping all of us think about -- and thus prepare for -- death. I’ve often said that if we don’t understand our own death we’ll never understand our own life.
One of the best new resources to help with that is a new book by Thomas G. Long of Candler School of Theology. It’s called Accompany Them With Singing: The Christian Funeral.
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Long complains that in many places Christians have abandoned traditional funerals with the body present in favor of disembodied memorial services that are primarily about therapy for the bereaved.
Mostly, Long acknowledges, this is a Protestant problem that finds its worst expressions among white, well-educated suburbanites. But I bet some of the death-fearing, anti-body instincts (as well as some of the well-meaning moves toward more tender pastoral care that have led Protestants down this path) are slipping into Catholic churches, too.
Here’s how Long describes what a Christian funeral should be: “Someone we love has died, and so once again we get out our old scripts, assemble on stage, and act out one more time the great and hopeful drama of how the Christian life moves from death to life.”
It’s a chance to retell the gospel story as we accompany a loved one to the edge of mystery. Yes, some therapy occurs, but that’s not primarily what should be going on.
One reason we Protestants have moved away from traditional body-present funerals is that we don’t understand our own theology, specifically the doctrine of the resurrection of the body -- an idea much different from the old Greek idea of the immortal soul.
The church does not teach that our souls are immortal and just temporarily housed in disposable shells. Rather, the church teaches that only God is immortal and that if we are to be in eternal relationship with the divine it will be by the grace of God, who intends to redeem not just us but the whole of creation.
If your church isn’t providing a forum to talk about that idea and others associated with death, do what you can to make it happen. Now. Before you die.
* * *
Bill Tammeus, a Presbyterian elder and former award-winning faith columnist for The Kansas City Star, writes the daily "Faith Matters" blog for The Star’s website and a monthly column for The Presbyterian Outlook. His latest book, co-authored with Rabbi Jacques Cukierkorn, is They Were Just People: Stories of Rescue in Poland During the Holocaust. His e-mail address is wtammeus@kc.rr.com.
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My Presbyterian congregation
My Presbyterian congregation recently presented a four-part series on dying, which we gently called “end-of-life issues.”
His presbyterian church supports legal abortion. 3000 end of life issues every day. Perhaps they should do something to attone for enabling the biggest holocaust in history.
Dear Mr. or Ms. Haynes, Have
Dear Mr. or Ms. Haynes,
Have you ever considered that the tactic of linking EVERYTHING to the problem of abortion might be counter productive: it might be losing the pro-life movement more friends than it gains? As has been mentioned here before, there may be a certain momentary satisfaction in shouting "baby murderers" but is it helping the cause?
The Presbyterian church is
The Presbyterian church is like many other Protestant churches in that they do not have a "definite teaching" that abortion is wrong in all circumstances. They recognize that sometimes decisions involve choices that are not black and white and they have confidence that people are capable of prayerfully determining what decisions they should make. Most Catholics do not oppose abortion in all circumstances, especially when the life of the mother is at risk and the fetus is not yet viable.
Abortion has been around, legally or not, for hundreds of years. Until all opposing view points sit down and really listen to each others perspectives, we will be stuck where we are in the land of insult throwing and sound bites. St Francis was right. For peace, we need to understand more than we need to be understood.
Chris, Your hate and
Chris,
Your hate and viciousness mark you as a person who supports the Repub party and it's agenda of death for profits, especially oil profits! This very same Repub party has created another financial crisis in America and throughout much of the world. They are aided by fundie Catholics and the Vatican and all church hierarchs.
We all know for fact, that if you increase financial stress on families or on women you increase abortions and wreck families. So you and the church and your Repub friends are actually creating more abortions. We all know that and the Vatican knows that as well, also the entire Repub party. The Repub party has been attacking working families throughout it's entire existence, even before it was called the Republican party. It used and took the labors and lives of others, and all for economic benefit.
The Vatican knows all of these facts yet it continues to support the Repubs and thus increases abortionsd. For that reason I do not belieave any of this Repub Vatican hate war/kill/death machine is really about abortion. It is very likely to be about MONEY, POWER and the soon upcoming end of Peak/Easy Oil!!!
In simple terms, this entire mess is about using people, their lives and their bodies for the enrichenment of the 1% Super Rich to prepare for the end to Peak/Easy oil(2015). Iow, abortion is just a smoke screen, distraction and cover-up for what is to come: the end of democracy in America and the use of our military to kill and control the American people and eventually the entire world. Thats why Scalia and company(Thomas, Roberts, Alito, Kennedy) have turned Americas into a Fascist nation!!!
Reagan started the Fascism process. GWB and Scalia almost completed it. Jeb Bush and Sarah Palin will complete that process. GWB started the process of Theocratizing America. Jeb Bush took it farther in Florida. In the election of 2012 and/or 2016 Jeb Bush and Sarah Palin will complete that process. They will also continue the process of turning America into a killing machine for profits and world control.
I think it was Sinclair Lewis who said, so presciently, back iun the thirties that when tyranny comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a bible or Cross.That IS exactly what you see going on in America.
Hitler tried to do the very same thing.^ million totally innocent Jews died, that represented 2/3rds of European Jews. The total dead number 60 million.Hitler also used religion and hatred and fear to advance his goals. That is happening right now in America. It began just before Reagan was elected prez and has continued and grown far greater since then.
Watch for it to happen, and in the near future! Religion can be used for good or for evil.
Thank you for this article on
Thank you for this article on a sensitive subject. I have decided to look at the deaths of my parents to see how it has effected my life. Your article will help me to do that.
At the age of nearly 80, it
At the age of nearly 80, it is exciting and hopeful to contemplate being a part of: " the church teaches that only God is immortal and that if we are to be in eternal relationship with the divine, it will be by the grace of God, who intends to redeem not just us but the whole of creation." I remembered to read the short biography of Tielhard de Chardin which link you provided in a recent Faith Matters blog. Thanks for all reminders.
When you die, your body
When you die, your body disappears and that's it. Stop wasting so much time on funerals; it's like decorating hamburger and it's the 4th most expensive thing we'll ever buy (House; College Education; Car). Protestants don't waste time praying for people who aren't here anymore so I don't know why we have to waste time and money and trouble on them.
With all due respect to Mr.
With all due respect to Mr. Tammeus and his right to speak out, and he is a pretty good writer, and a very personable man, why is he a regular guest columnist here?
He regularly bashes Catholics, and has a real problem with the Pope, on his blog but allows no one to respond with comments there...even though for over two years he allowed a pair of self described Militant Atheists to say whatever they wanted about Catholics, and other groups. (You can check his blog archives for verification of this.)
He is quite generous with his "criticism" of the Church and Pope, but is very sensitive to the same from others.
With all due respect Randall,
With all due respect Randall, did you read the column? I saw no "Catholic bashing". Most of the criticism he offered was directed at Protestants. He didn't even mention the pope.
Not all blogs accept comments and, if something a blogger (or any commentator) writes bothers you, view it as an opportunity to understand what you believe and why you believe it. That's the beauty of listening to different perspectives. You don't have to agree with everything you read, but sometimes a different viewpoint could provide illuminatation and cause you to feel differently about a certain issue or topic and allow for personal growth.
And with all due respect to
And with all due respect to you, did you read my post? I said he bashes Catholics, and the Pope, ON HIS BLOG.
Or course he does not do it HERE...that is what is disengenous about his his columns.
And his blog does accept comments, he just blocks any response. This does not seem very, shall we say, courageous.
Randall, criticizing is not
Randall, criticizing is not always "bashing". Those who disagree with us are, often, members of the mystical body of Christ. I think it is important to realize this. It will help all of us and be a great benefit to The Church.
God's peace to you on your journey,
John David
Well said, John, and I agree
Well said, John, and I agree that criticizing is not always bashing. But Tammeus goes beyond criticizing, and that is of course just my opinion, but the fact that he allows no responses on his blog seems to back up that opinion.
I think the real core issue
I think the real core issue for people today is not what happens to their bodies, but whether self aware ego consciousness survives biological death. It seems to me this is an issue the churches fail to deal with in their emphasis on bodily resurrection or God's immortality relative to human mortality.
Mr. Tammeus has it wrong;
Mr. Tammeus has it wrong; it's the poor and lower middle/working classes who are more likely to spend way too much on funerals. Many rich people, especially those with Masters degrees+ educations, consider expensive funerals vulgar and would no more spend a lot for flowers and caskets than they would go to a NASCAR race or a Pentecostal church. It's the upper 5% of the population who think it's fine to think about cardboard boxes and no embalming and no gravestone for their dead; the poor (especially poor immigrants), Blacks and working-class people want to spend whatever they can "for their loved ones". They're the ones being robbed by undertakers. The rich spend as little as possible on what they consider unprofitable; that's one of the reasons they stay rich.
I'm not sure of the accuracy
I'm not sure of the accuracy of Brad Evans' statistics, but let's assume for the sake of discussion they are correct. I am a priest and don't want a big, splashy funeral. I do want a Mass and I want my cremains to be there.
But I suspect my estate will be barely large enough to cover its bills and a fancy funeral is out of the question financially.
Mind you, I'm retired so I wouldn't have a parish mourning for me. In the case of a well-loved pastor, the full deal with a wake, a funeral Mass and all the rubrics is in order.
Padre
Worried about financial costs
Worried about financial costs for funerals? Do what people do for cars and houses and college: Shop around. There are payment plans for all budgets and you can be sure that the ones who have to deal with your funeral won't have the extra problem of trying to second-guess your intentions. Write down what you want and make sure that your funeral home has a copy.
Prepaying saves money and is thoughtful for those "left behind". Once you pay, you're family is set. Anything extra they want to buy they can pay for themselves. The basics will have been taken care of by you.
I was just stating facts.
I was just stating facts.
His presbyterian church supports legal abortion. 3000 end of life issues every day. Biggest holocaust in history.
Dont yell at the messenger if the message is true. Instead, please deal with the truth.
Well, at least Mr. Tammeus is
Well, at least Mr. Tammeus is not critizing Catholics today.
Today, he is posting critiques of Israel. But given that he is always talking about how Christians, expecially the Church, are responsible for what has happened to the Jews, I think he would be more cautious about looking like he is Israel bashing.
I mean, who set this man up as a judge of the Church, of Israel, and whoever else he feels like?
I would at least respect him if he allowed comments on his blog.
You are trying to link two
You are trying to link two very separate points.
If you are referring to the holocaust when you say, "... how Christians, expecially the Church, are responsible for what has happened to the Jews...",
he is correct. Hitler and his closest advisors were Christian (in Hitler's case, Catholic) and Christian churches did not oppose the nazis.
I don't know what he has said against Israel, but I do know that even though I support Israel, I believe the country is acting irresponsibly in its push to establish settlements and in its denying Palestinians basic opportunities.
Comments on blogs must be monitored and not every blogger has the time and/or resources to do that.
Surveying what I've heard
Surveying what I've heard over my lifetime, I'd say about 50% of the criticism of the Church was grounded in prejudice and misunderstanding, and 50% was interesting to hear and on target.
Just so my NCR readers know:
Just so my NCR readers know: When I began my "Faith Matters" blog in late 2004, while I was still full-time at The Star, I allowed unmoderated comments. Eventually commenters abused that privilege in many ways. So I went to a moderated-comments system, meaning I had to read comments before they were published. Eventually those comments degenerated into mostly a theists-versus-atheists bash-fest (to employ a term used by "Randall"). The result was that, in effect, I was providing one more platform for uncivil discourse in a nation in which uncivil discourse is a big problem. So I stopped comments altogether (with rare exceptions) but invited readers who wished to respond to anything I wrote on the blog to e-mail me from the blog -- something that's easy to do. Moderating a blog was both frustrating and time-consuming and I decided life was too short for that. Comments on my columns are allowed on the NCR site and on the site where my Presbyterian Outlook columns are published. The decision to allow comments on those sites is up to editors, not me. Thanks for reading -- whether you agree with me or not. Bill Tammeus
Rev. Bill, Many thanks for
Rev. Bill,
Many thanks for this post about death,dying and funerals. Due to a progressively worsening terminal illness I will be dead in 3-5yrs. I think about this very often, almost every day. This article from you is helpful.
I was in the hospital in 2004 when this was diagnosed. I guess because i checked Catholic on the intake form, a priest came to visit me on his rounds. He knew my diagnosis. He suggested I return to the "body of the faithful". When I told him I couldn't do that, he asked why.I told him I was not/no longer a Republican. And I did not and would not tolerate the killing of Iraqis for their oil and for profits. Money and BIG Business mean very/nothing little to me. I don't live my life for those dollar/corporate values. I could tell by the dismayed look in his eyes that he knew exactly what I was talking about. We prayed together and he left, silently.
I will never give myself over to republicanism/Reaganism. I may have voted for them in the past, but that will never happen again.I learned what republicanism is all about!!! I reject it, totally. I WILL pass from this world with my integrity intact. I thank the nuns for those values.
Rev. Bill, thanks for your thoughts on death being a resurrection.I will add that to my thinking about death. I wish I could have attended your congregations four part series on dying. But it's a long way from Youngstown,Ohio to Kansas.
All the best to you and yours--
bob
I agree that we should be
I agree that we should be talking about death starting at our Baptism. Baptism re-defines what death means for Christians. You will find my recent book "Life,Death and Christian Hope"(Paulist Press,2009) very interesting in this regard.
The ARS MORIENDI (the ART of
The ARS MORIENDI (the ART of DYING) is a Medieval literary genre which has, unfortunately, been abandoned by all/most organized religions.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-ars-moriendi.htm
http://www.deathreference.com/A-Bi/Ars-Moriendi.html
http://bibliodyssey.blogspot.com/2006/06/ars-moriendi.html
We have plenty of BIRTHING centers around the country, but some day, an enlightened species will create DEATHING centers as well, once death is acknowledged to be as normal a part of the SEAMLESS GARMENT OF LIFE, as childbirth.
"some day, an enlightened
"some day, an enlightened species will create DEATHING centers as well, once death is acknowledged to be as normal a part of the SEAMLESS GARMENT OF LIFE, as childbirth."
Potential DEATHING centers already exist and a group of enlighten species individuals (called Hospice) are available to help. These centers include loved ones, friends,family. They're called 'home'.
Submitted by Brad Evans (not
Submitted by Brad Evans (not verified) on Nov. 17, 2010.
When you die, your body disappears and that's it.
...umm...I'm no expert on Catholic theology/beliefs... but I believe when we die that the body and soul are resurrected (spelling??) into a fullness with God...and this fullness is beyond our earthly knowledge and comprehension...I also believe that the body and soul are not separate entities, 'tho...and...well...I think this belief is well grounded in Catholocism...at least this is what I have been getting out wonderful lecture series at Corpus Christi University Parish in Toledo, OH. These lecture series bring us nationally known theologians, largely because of the parish priest, Father James Bacik.
Well, in a way the body disappears...but more than that, it is transformed together with the soul...into being (noun) beyond our earthly comprehension...it is indeed a mystery..
...my humble reflections
If you believe in fairy
If you believe in fairy tales, sure.
For those of us in the reality-based community, we know that this is the only time we'll ever have.
"we know that this is the
"we know that this is the only time we'll ever have."
And how, pray tell, do you know this?
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