Stephen Colbert on the contraception mandate

CATHOLICS AS RABBITS ? Thanks for sharing the incisive humor of Colbert, a Catholic parent.

For a discussion of how we got here, please read my comment, "Catholics Are Not Rabbits" , readily accessible by clicking on at;

http://ncronline.org/blogs/distinctly-catholic/what-about-contraception

Hilarity and incongruity aside, this issue is going to make the US Bishops force the Pope to define artificial contraception as intrinsically evil and objectively immoral.

Two things can happen. The US Bishops are walking on a razor's edge. If they push the Pope to make this ex cathedra definition, leaving no doubt to artificial contraception as a deadly sin of the worst kind, akin only to abortion, whats going to happen is that Catholic Hospitals will not be able to accept Federal money.

The other thing is that this issue goes to the Supreme Court. Although the consistent "teaching" of the Supreme Court since the late 1800s has given 1st Amendment rights to corporations (free speech, freedom of religion, freedom to do just about anything), the Court reiterated this "doctrine" in Citizens United vs Federal Election Commission (january 21, 2010; see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizens_United_v._Federal_Election_Commission). But what it means is that corporations, all corporations, have free speech and freedom of religion. And even if the law says all employers have to provide birth control in their insurance programs, actually, this would not be true. Of course, this court will do anything that is pro-corporate and find a way to rationalize it. But the Catholic Church and other entities would have a case I believe.

Interesting that the words used to describe Church and Court are the same: doctrine, etc.

Anyway, back to Colbert. I think he is a faithful Catholic who is pointing out (literally) the ridiculous scenario playing out before our eyes.

The people, who do count for something even regarding Church belief and morals (and even though the Vatican and US Bishops would never admit it), use artificial birth control - and it seems almost everywhere. If they didn't know about it, their governments c/o U.S. Aid has taught them. So the US Bishops and the Pope need to look to precedent as well in how this issue of teaching on artificial contraception advances or develops - and the fact that there is no way to control this. What does this situation tell the teaching Church? Not "just give in" because there is no controlling it, but to look once again at the question of artificial birth control.

Why didn't Pope Paul VI define this teaching once and for all? Why did he leave space for theology to deal with this matter? Because he was not 100% sure me thinks.

Not that this has anything to do with the inherent rightfulness or wrongness of artificial birth control, but about the only place artificial birth control is an issue for the Church is deep in the small print of employment and insurance contracts where the US Bishops was forced to make a stand.

When did you ever hear it preached? Taught?

Yes, some dioceses have offices for Natural Family Planning. There are some very brave families who practice NFP and I respect them.

But I am a celibate, so what do I know?

I have a sister who practiced NFP with her husband after they had two kids, got their marriage blessed, and wanted to do the right thing. She said it was the best years of their marriage. But they could not keep it up. They had another child and when he was about six the marriage imploded in a spectacular fashion.

Colbert has really hashed the issue for the general public but Catholics who know Church teaching will get what he is saying.

My question: why aren't child rape by anyone, well, any rape, clergy sex abuse, sins that cry to heaven? Gosh, no one talks about these sins either so we have to get it all from the screeching Nancy Grace on CNN.

Well, artificial contraception is said to interfere with that three-way Colbert was talking about.

But is God the third person in the bedroom or is it the pope, bishops? Where's God in their deliberations?

This is the question Colbert was really asking.

The US Bishops have been unable to teach and convince US Catholics about the evil of artificial birth control. So, why blame the people, guys? Your predecessors wouldn't touch it now you are stuck with a teaching you cannot even teach except to yell it is wrong.

I don't want to go on forever, but men have had control over women for so long, that for women to take control over their own bodies - well of course it is a sin!

PS I am not pro artificial birth control because I have seen the birth defects caused from using it, the lost pregnancies, the women who get breast cancer - and advertisers never tell the real horror of it - and add abortions as well. And I do not believe in abortion. But all this is crazy-making because of the inconsistencies and power grabbing - and lack of teaching over the last 44 years since Humane Vitae was published (Colbert, you gotta pronounce it right -)

Nouveau "transubstantiation"- state $ to Bishop $. Well put.

Maybe it's time for the bishops to be put on the spot for the scandelous inconsistency and hypocracy of defending and hiding (and some themselves involved in) sexual abuse of children. They have denied, fought against fact, denigrated and humiliated victims and abused the law. Now, they stand self-rightiously against employer obligation and employee rights for activities which are delegated from the state,largely paid for out of the public purse, not to mention parishoners', not their, funds. They not only abuse children, authority and common sense, they abuse my/our intelligence and good will. They seem to be simply self-interest lobbyists, but of the most servile kind.

yeah, so like, tell me please, in the anglophone American Roman Catholic Mass, in the Credo in unum Deo, do you guys now go, like, And in the forbidding of contraceptive devices of all kind, so shall we eschew as a basic tenet of our FAith?

on a level with the Holy Trinity

like, while 98% USE contraception?

no wonder the pews are emptied
and I go to the Spanish Mass,
in Mexico

plenty of babies there too . . .

We can complain, bitch and moan all day long on blogs like this. We can work for peace and justice, while they focus on pelvic issues. We can pray, write letters, lead ministries, work for a more mature, transparent, honest and faithful system, while they take our money, sell our churches, closes our schools and hide the truth about their actions behind a smoke screen of religious liberty. Nothing will change in this church as long as it is governed by immature, stunted men who confuse obedience with discernment and understand neither. They have bastardized the faith. By staying, we enabled them. The hierarchs no longer follow the poor Christ. The only solution is to walk away. Be Christ's hands and heart in the world - stop wasting precious energy fighting the losing battle that is the Roman Catholic Church.

Ugh, look, I'm getting really tired of Catholics defending contraception. With all due respect, I just don't understand. There are plenty of denominations out there willing to accept your views.

Stephen ------ gotta love him and laugh with him.

'Tho presented as satire, there is much truth in what he says.

One really interesting bit of info is most spiritual advisors tell their penatents to "follow their own conscience" regarding birth control.

Don't you just know Cardinals like George of Chicago or DeNardo of Houston would casterate their priests for even thinking such thoughts, much less giving such advice to Catholics?!

Not a very Brotherly comment, but the picture of the two of them hearing of such practices is too funny not to share!

My apologies Eminences....

lets just be real, religion is fake.

so why does this matter?

If the satire seems over the top, you might want to view the Fox News interview by Eric Bolling of their "legal analyst' that may have inspired it:
http://video.foxnews.com/v/1436022562001/president-obama-looks-to-faith-....

It appeared Feb. 6th.

Also, two comments to LOL in regard to your post. I think your concern about the possible upping the ante is a real danger. At least a real temptation to make the pronouncements against birth control even stronger. I hope bishops who perceive the downside of that have the pope's ear!He has no interest in listening to the laity or priests.

I think you might want to talk to a couple of ob-gyn doctors who are knowledgagble about epidemiology about your "PS I am not pro artificial birth control because I have seen the birth defects caused from using it, the lost pregnancies, the women who get breast cancer - and advertisers never tell the real horror of it - and add abortions as well."
While those things happen, the much greater health consequences without artificial birth control is far, far worse. E.g., Birth control pills are more protective against cancer than a cause of it.You can't look at just one cancer.

What's wrong with that? A lot. It doesn’t require Catholic hotlisaps or clinics to hand out birth control pills or devices. It doesn’t force Catholics to practice contraception. It doesn’t interfere with anyone’s religion. Religion is a work of the people. It's not something people do because they have nothing better to do. I'm sure if religion weren't around, people would find something else to do. Religion is about being better. And not from an abstract and unlivable high and mighty do this because I said so way, but making not only the religious person's life better, but everyone's. It starts with an honest recognition of where we come from, and who we were designed to be like. We were created rational and good, and that's what we're expected to act like. Actions to the contrary are bad not because we were told not to do them, but because they go against what we are. We're free people. You claim freedom to do whatever you want. We claim freedom to be good, and not have to participate in doing evil. That includes having to pay money so that other people can do what we know to be wrong. The fact is: Not everybody who works in a Catholic hospital is a Catholic.Twenty-eight states have already adopted the same requirement for health insurance.And DePaul University and Georgetown University already include contraception in their health insurance policies. So what? Because some people, even Catholics, do something, that makes it right? I hate to say it, but some people steal. Some people lie. Some people rape and murder. Some of them might even be Catholic, even if they don't act like it. Does that mean that the actions are right, or what the Church teaches is wrong? Negative on both counts. 98 percent of Catholic practice birth control, anyway The statistics I've read that cite that say have used, not are using, but that's splitting hairs. The point above stands.I would love to see statistics on the number of landed gentry in the South in, let's say, 1800, before the decline. How many of them owned slaves or supported the slave trade. Did that number make it right? Nope.Maybe it's not the bishops that are out of touch. Maybe it's the people who aren't listening.