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PDF versionThe Church at Her Best
by Michael Sean Winters on Jun. 02, 2011
Many years ago, a priest said to me, “The Church is her best at a funeral.” I thought at the time that this was not only right but wise, and my experience since then has confirmed it. Wednesday, many of us in the NCR family celebrated the Mass of Christian Burial for our friend Joe Feuerherd and, indeed, the Church was at her best. Why is this?
First, we have the liturgy itself. The Mass of Christian Burial is not very different from a regular Sunday Mass and at a time of strong emotional challenge, it is comforting to have a familiar ritual. I know that we live in an age and a culture in which Oprah-like personal self-expression is considered not only a right but a duty, but in fact, it is cruel to expect people who have just experienced trauma to try and give voice to their emotions. Don’t you cringe when you see some newsman pushing a microphone into the face of a survivor of the tornado in Joplin or the massacre at Virginia Tech? “How do you feel?” the newsman asks. It is a cruel question at such a time.
Still less should those who have just lost a loved one be expected to devise an entire service. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, I ran a bookstore/café here in Washington and we lost many waiters, bartenders and cooks to the AIDS epidemic. Some of them had no religion and had left the request that their friends host a memorial service. These were dreadful. Lacking a liturgy, these memorial services consisted mostly of eight or so eulogies from friends, but because the friends had not coordinated their talks, the eulogies were invariably repetitive. And, because few people’s friends have been trained in public speaking, they lack a pastor’s ability to articulate clearly, measure the cadence of their words, and fill the room when the microphone fails, all of which are essential to communication. Finally, and most importantly, people who are unaccustomed to speaking about the tragedies of life may seek to give expression to their deepest sentiments but they can easily lapse into sentimentality. Every time I attended one of these unscripted memorial services, I gave thanks for the Catholic liturgy.
Second, in our culture, there are reference points in the musical canon that help us to wrestle with the mystery of suffering and death, and these great cultural touchstones are invariably religious. Wednesday, at Joe’s funeral, the soprano soloist Ellen Kliman sang “I Know that my Redeemer Liveth” from Handel’s “Messiah.” At the Offertory, the mezzo-soprano Jennifer Goltz sang the Bach-Gounod “Ave Maria.” At Communion, the quartet sang Bach’s “Sheep May Safely Graze” and Faure’s “In Paradisum.” These works of music do for a grieving family and community what words alone cannot do; they transport us emotionally. The emotions arrive at a place that is musically beautiful but utterly honest: These works of music haunt as well as comfort, inspire as well as ground the emotions, they grapple with the reality of death and new life that is at the heart of our faith. Maybe, in our secular age, there will be musical geniuses like Faure and Bach and Handel to write secular works of music that achieve similar emotional dexterity and profundity, but I doubt it and, in any event, there has certainly been no Bach in this century.
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After the funeral Mass, Joe’s family and friends did what Catholics do at such a time: We ate and drank. We reminded ourselves that we are still alive. In the Gospel, after Jesus invites a doubting Thomas to put his finger into the nail holes and his hand into his side, to face the reality of death, the Master eats a piece of fish. Here we discern our dogmatic belief in the resurrection of the body: Our bodies are integral to our dignity, and death has no more power over that body.
There is a final reason the Church is her best at a funeral, and it is hinted at by the above-mentioned observation about the lack of secular music for a funeral. The acids of secularization may have eaten away at large parts of our Western culture, but death still belongs to the Church. Why? Because the world has said its last about the life of our departed: You can read it in the obituary. Far be it from me, a wordsmith, remembering another wordsmith, to point out that words have their limits, but there it is. And, the problem is not the words, here, really, it is the focus. The world can remember a life, but it can never make sense of death, which is the one inescapable part of life. Only the Church can remind us that death is not a wall but a door. Only the Church provides a moment, indeed a sacrament, the Mass, where we can be united with our loved ones as truly as if they were sitting beside us in the pew. Only the Church can sustain – not only sustain but even give voice to – the belief that the deepest yearning of the human heart, the desire to live forever with those we love, that this desire can and will be fulfilled. This desire finds its fulfillment in our dogmatic belief in the Communion of Saints: Nothing, not even death, can separate us from the love we share in Christ Jesus.
We live in an age in which death is met with euphemisms. You will search in vain for a Hallmark sympathy card that mentions the word death. We say that our beloved has “passed away” when, in fact, he died. The Church, and only the Church, recognizes the reality of death and imparts to it human dignity and worth, because the Church, and only the Church, can say and sing “I know that my Redeemer Liveth.” Christ’s death is the death of death. That is why, in the face of death, we can still give an account of the hope that is within us. That hope is rooted in dogmatic claims that only the Church proclaims. It is not only our Redeemer who liveth, it is our friend Joe too.
In my work with hospice, I
In my work with hospice, I was most moved and inspired by African American funeral choirs, Jewish grief traditions and the Catholic Mass. I have wished many times that these three traditions could be combined. It would be a "best practices" for "doing death." Meanwhile, I agree that the funeral is where the church is arguably "at her best." Nice column. Wish I had been there for Joe's funeral. Thanks.
Many Bishops and priests
Many Bishops and priests don't want lay eulogies at funeral Masses. See bishop Tobin R.I, who wants to ban them. Only famous and clergy need eulogies?
Watch at next funeral and see if presider is staring at the loft or thumbing the Sacramentary during a lay eulogy. Clericalism not only lives, it's getting viral
"Maybe, in our secular age,
"Maybe, in our secular age, there will be musical geniuses like Faure and Bach and Handel to write secular works of music that achieve similar emotional dexterity and profundity, but I doubt it and, in any event, there has certainly been no Bach in this century."
This century? No Bach? First, why would you want another Bach? Second, do you believe in the Holy Spirit? What does "our secular age" have to do with musical geniuses? Are you implying the Church created Bach? That the Church gave him his genius? I've always thought of musical geniuses as being inspired by the Holy Spirit. If they were not inspired by the Holy Spirit, then who is the genius that inspired them to be a genius? How do you define genius? I'd really like to know your definition of a musical genius.
I've come to the conclusion that there will not be another Bach or Faure or Handel because music is evolving and people and the world are not the same as they were, nor are they taught the same as then. Also, it is true that each individual is truly unique and will have something new and exciting to share if they are creative and not a copy-cat of some other composer.
Today there is new technology to utilize for the composer, and the emotional content will be more enlightened or at least introduce concepts to inspire a deeper spirituality, as well music to reflect the spiritual healing needed within our contemporary time and in the Church. Also, improvisation has fallen by the wayside and it is a skill that the Great master composers had and without that, composing becomes a chore of mechanical dexterity. Music has to change. One cannot try to be like Bach if they are a serious genius of a composer. Think about that. One can learn from him though. Music can develop from his ideas. That is how music has evolved over time by many a musical genius.
BTW, I love Bach. I always found it a shame that women composers, especially during that time of Bach, could never be gainfully employed or have any or much access to develop their gifts and talents. I've no doubt that we are missing out from hearing their music, maybe more than we can imagine. It's a terrible loss to all of us if you think about it. Seems their genius and talents were just aborted from the Church and the world. Surely there were many women who were gifted and talented and they were never heard of and they could not get a job in a Church in the days when the Church was the power of the age.
It does not seem that the current Church hierarchy could or would be able to really recognize musical genius if it heard it anyway, in my opinion, especially if it came from a woman. The Church is too concerned about issues that are divisive than in creating an environment for great composers, inclusive of females. I mean really, the Church hierarchy is not interested in genius, period. It's only interested in laying down the law of supposed infallibility, which is a crock.
Today, if you are a genius, the Church hierarchy doesn't really want you in the Church. And if you are a genius, you'd be not accepted because you see that the genius and talents of women and men don't really mean anything to the selfish few who now run the Vatican.
Butterfly, I was pleased to
Butterfly,
I was pleased to read your post on music that was so often to become liturgical music. Some of which was not even intended as such, but was so beautiful that it became so.
I too love the great music from Bach to Buxtehude to Verdi and everything in between. I love organ music and listen to Michael Barone's program on WYSU-FM (Internet audio stream HD-2) called 'Pipedreams', every Friday from 5-7pm.
I was especially touched by your comments about women. I agree, 1000%!!!
The male church, so often called Holy Mother Church(isn't that very interesting) has done an excellent job of ---ohhh, what to call it---of trashing women, should we call it that! I do. The male church has taken the life of Jesus and turned it into an abomination toward all women. The male church's attitude toward women smacks of the old homosexual hatred of women, who were seen as competitors for male affections. Real homosexuals don't even look at women that way anymore. But the boys/men of the church still do.
And another point--
The male church, in regarding women as "baby machines", has very, very clearly and strongly set up a paradigm of objectifying and thus dehumanizing women. Thus have so many men throughout the ages looked upon women as SEX OBJECTS. One paradigm, the first one, done by the church, VERY clearly gives rise to the second. One does not have to be a Psychologist or Sociologist(I am both) to understand these trashy and highly dysfunctional personal and societal paradigms which have done great disservice to women and to all of society.
Isn't it very easy to see/understand that when women have to "gain" respect by being servants and objects of men's sexual desires that we now get TONS of out of wedlock children, such as seen in teen and adult out of wedlock pregnancies. Let us not forget that a great many of those kinds of pregnancies result in ABORTIONS. The church hates this but absolutely never understands it own role in creating this abortion situation. Instead it spews out hatred and violence toward EVERYONE else, especially toward Democrats and liberals. (Btw, I am an Independent, a liberal and a libertarian).
The end result being that their America is constantly spewing out vitriol and venom. It has now created a very vicious Republican(Reagan/Protestant) America that has given us and the entire world two very deadly and very costly wars and one deadly and costly Trickle-down(Adam Smith, 'wealth of Nations") economic crisis that has caused many more abortions and clearly degraded families in America and throughout the world. ALL done because the male church is deeply trapped in it's own man-made theology and cannot either extricate itself from, nor begin to comprehend the amount of devastation that it has cause to families, women, children AND to FETUSES.
It's blindness is totally incredible!!! Especially when all that it has to do is to follow the laws of God(Ten Commandments; thou shalt not kill and shalt not bear false witness) and also to follow the teachings of our beloved savior Jesus Christ9peace, love,tolerance and "Do unto others....
Why has it done this?? Simple! because the male church has set up false gods. It has set up itself as a false god, THE ultimate false god(sic). And the popes and hierarchs as little false gods. Such is their perfidy and iniquity. Such is their heresy and blasphemy. Such is their seeking after a kingdom on earth. Such is their sin of PRIDE. "...and the worst of these is the first" referring to the sin of PRIDE. "Thou shalt have no false gods(small g) before Me".
Those are the reasons why the male Vatican church is in such deep trouble today. It's sins have caught up with it!!! With it's convoluted and very involutional man-made theology(Canon laws, etc). It has created a false kingdom upon this earth. I am always amazed that the male church cannot step back and look at itself. So deep is the corner it has painted itself into. So trapped in it's own self created mentally incestous theology.
Oh well--- I'm just a liberal who wants this earth to be a better place for everyone. So what do I know. But then if that is a true statement then why are so many millions of Catholics here in America alone just quietly walking away, leaving the church. Those, admittedly few, I have talked to give reasons such as the great amount of hatred/viciousness/rancor coming from the extremist right wing Vatican church. When I say to them is it because the Vatican church(not the Catholic church of the people) has forgotten the teachings of Jesus Christ, of peace, love, tolerance toward others and "Do unto Others... They always say yes.
Anyway on to other aspects---
Not only was I an altar boy but I also sang in our church's 70 member boys(4th to 8th grade) choir. We were taught by a nun with a Ph.D. in music who sang an opera in three languages in partial fulfillment of the requirements for her doctorate. She could have taught music in any university in the world, but seemed content to teach us boys. I also had her for fourth and seventh grade. She was a blessing.
Needless to say Sr. C, one of my favorite nuns, was magnificent as she taught us through endless rehearsals for the great events throughout the liturgical year.
"Tis the month of our Mother(BVM)Blessed and beautiful days)which we sang and I still recall.
As choirboys we also sang in many, many St. Patrick's day plays at St. Pats, where else. Sr. C also played the organ. I regard it as the king of instruments. Sr. C did everything from playing, to teaching elementary school, to teaching church music, to teaching us about musical phrasing, intonation, elocution( Oh Ho-lee Night) to keeping us boys(whom she loved, she told us so from time to time)awake and focused during the Holy Mass, to keeping us loose so we would not "tighten-up" and pass out, to feeding those who had not had any breakfast(after Holy Communion most of the time, but before when it was called for).
Mary we crown thee with blossoms today...Bring flowers of the rarest, bring flowers of the fairest...etc. Remember that one.
Sr.C never asked for anything for herself but was pleased when someone brought her a new middle C or F pitchpipe or a Chromatic pitchpipe for our high pitched boys voices, when she lost hers.
We all know that Mary Magdalene was regarded as a whore, then raised up to sainthood.
Finally---
The world famous aboriginal Maori New Zealand opera singer Kiri Te Kanawa was taught to sing by a nun, Sr Mary Leo who originally knew nothing about music. Sr. Leo also taught other women to sing and to sing opera. Read about it, that is a story worth reading.
Anyway, that is my homage to Sr. C and all women, everywhere. Btw, my aunt was a Dominican nun. I may be a guy but some of my personal heroes are women.
Also, just consider the many great women of science. Despite what that idiot Larry Summers said when he was president of Harvard. Two of the greatest Physicists of all time were/are women. Read about Lise Meitner and Lisa Randall. Randall is a preeminent Physicist at Harvard. Meitner was the person who figured out and explained to her lab partners back in Nazi Germany at the Max Planck Institute what they could not figure out about atoms decaying into two other atomic products(nuclear fission). Mayhap, some day some woman will discover how to efficiently do nuclear fusion. Who can say otherwise. Fusion and a pill for obesity would be the most important discoveries of our times and greatly/enormously benefit the entire human race.
When thinking about the issues of women in the church as well as women and the church I often wonder if the male church boys club isn't threatened by women. I have always felt that women follow the laws of God and the teachings of Christ far better than we men.
And finally, finally--- I feel that as a male my job, among others, is to be the air beneath the wings of all women And to help them be all that they can be, for their betterment and for the betterment of God's creation, the Family of Man, the human race. Whatsoever we do for women we then do equally for children, for fetuses, for families. I think you would agree. I would think no one would or could disagree. But it seems that the male Vatican Catholic church does disagree.
Many thanks for your post Butterfly. I was inspired by your words and thusly moved to respond, as I have done.
Butterfly, you stated your argument most eloquently. I hope I have added some fuel to your fire, you have added some to mine!
All the best to you and yours--
bob
Dear Bob, I sensed I better
Dear Bob,
I sensed I better get over here to NCR to see if there was a response and it is truly delightful to see yours. I'm glad I added some fuel to your fire. I had a really good experience at learning music from an IHM Sister in the Catholic school that I went to in grade school. We were always singing and learning new songs in harmony, all the eight years I went there.
This issue of the Catholic Church hierarchy treating women as just baby machines, sexual objects, whores or people to work for cheaper wages doing menial tasks really gets to me right in the gut. I know from experience of growing up in a VI Church & parents who had an SSPX alliance in spirit and in thought and deed that the attitudes that came down from our RCC hierarchy & to my parents and in the world about females and their place in the world spelt disaster and years of suffering for me and countless other women with regards to their work, education and what they could contribute. I know some women that even despite such an experience have risen up to the challenge of educating themselves and getting out of the box they were placed in by the prejudices of those in powerful positions or in their families, or in the world and in the Churches. Kudos to the women who inspire us all to also rise.
Good enough to save with my
Good enough to save with my final papers, thanks!
Well written. I wished more
Well written. I wished more commentators from NCR would discuss more things that we agree upon than always talking about church politics.
Whether left or right, the Liturgy does hold us together.
May Joe rest in peace and may Gog give the strength to his wife and family to continue the journey.
"may Gog give the strength .
"may Gog give the strength . . ."
Gog or Magog, Mara? You find this a thing "that we agree upon?"
This should be read with
This should be read with together with Maureen Fiedler's column, "My Brother's Funeral." MSW is on target. Maureen insisted that "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" be played at her brother's funeral. Unfortunately a weak and ineffective priest gave in to her and reduced the beautiful Catholic funeral liturgy to the least common denominator.
those gathered felt very
those gathered felt very differently, Milly, and that is what counts
those gathered felt very
those gathered felt very differently, Milly, and that is what counts
the Sabbath is made for us, not we for the Sabbath
Michael, Joe is gone. He is
Michael, Joe is gone. He is where pain and suffering are no more. He has the answer to lifes great question. What's next? All the rest, the beautiful liturgy and the music and the final pagentry is for the living. No matter how much faith we have we are all hurt at the passing of our loved ones. Yet, the Master told us to let the dead bury the dead? We all get this opportunity to evaluate where we are on our personal journey. In the balance all our differences are as chaff in the wind. Happy is what we all need to be to see that a good man will recieve his reward.
In Paradisum Deducant Te Angeli!
God Bless Us All.
TomC
the Church is her best at
the Church is her best at establishing real justice and peace for the poor, with a preferential option.
until wojtyla and ratzinger . . .
Maybe you want to think about
Maybe you want to think about the "her" part of "the church at her best"--it is an annoying, subjugating, and sexist way of referring to the people of God.
My daughter, Erin, passed
My daughter, Erin, passed away on Memorial Day from a boating accident in Erie. Our funeral mass at St. Gabriel Church and Catholic burial rite at the cemetary was the only way we could begin to have any closure our daughter's death. The music sung, bible passages read, and family and friends with us that day reassured our family that God had taken our little girl and that she was okayand with Him in heave.
When we now have Happy Moments, we Praise God; Difficult Moments, Seek God; Quiet Moments, Worship God; Painful Moments, Trust God; and Every Moment, Thank God.
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