Archbishop: Sing no sad songs for me, or happy ones either

My pastor seems to hate us. He always says things that make us feel bad when we are at Mass.

He has all kinds of little "put downs" about our crass materialism (is there any other kind?) our not going to confession, our cheating on the candle lighting money, our big fancy wedding extravaganzas, our attempts to lead "the good life" which means we will never get to heaven, our casual clothes, our going to the bathroom during Mass, our talking during Mass, our coming only on major holy days, our cheapness, and,of course, our wanting the funeral "celebration of life" or Mass of the Resurrection.

We are bad and rotten!

Thanks! Again..... week after week, Kennedy never fails to inspire and get to the heart of the matter.
The description of purgatory is wonderful!

The Church seeks to pay pivitol and ritual roles in the lives of its constituents.

Birth and parenthood is celebrated with Baptism, coming-of-age with Confirmation, mating with Marriage, Death with a funeral.

It is at the Church's peril that it refuses to include in its rituals that which is centered upon itself, rather than tht which expresses the sense and sensibilities of those whose life-events are being feted.

Thus we see more and more Catholic parents forgoing infant Baptism, Catholic teens forgoing Confirmation, Catholic young adults marriage within the Church, and survivors the Mass of Christian Burial. We see them doing so
in favor of other, "secular" rituals, which for them are more meaningful.

Indeed, the whole experience of the Eucharist has become in some places so empty and distant that many, if not most, Catholics now forgo that ritual that celebrates the ending of one week and the beginning of another.

It is odd, isn't it, that the institution which was once the master of ritual is now ceding that role to secular outlets simply by virtue of the hubris which deludes itself into thinking that it's all about the Church and the clergy?

Thank you, Eugene Kennedy, for inserting some humanity and pastoral spirit. Perhaps the good Archbishop Hart has not been present at many funerals of ordinary (in this case as in not ordained) mortals, and has missed the point for that reason.

And the hierarchy discovers yet another way to appear foolish and like control freaks. Will the well ever run dry?

I remember the party after my grandmother's funeral. People ate pastries cooked by the relatives, drank beer, laughed and remembered her full, wonderful life. Maybe someone should look into those blasphemous parties, too.

Now what I do object to is the music I hear at Mass that cannibalizes something else, such as Beethoven's Ode to Joy from the 9th Symphony with words unrelated to anything in the original text, Simple Gifts with new words, O Waly Waly with new words and the wrong meter and often poorly harmonized, and Amazing Grace with new words. It's like the churchifying of the Pantheon in Rome, an ugly cultural offense,

Good for you. As usual, sensible and fun.

The Mass of the Resurrection all too often a sentimental, feel-good 'instant canonization' of the deceased. In a misguided effort to avoid uncomfortable concepts, i.e Hell or Purgatory, we just assume the deceased is in Heaven right after death. So much for the Particular Judgment. It takes a particular kind of hubris to assume God's judgment mirrors our own.

As Catholics, we have an obligation to do justice to the portion of the Communion of Saints known as the 'Church Suffering.' All too often, the The Mass of the Resurrection is a touchy-feely affair to assuage the psyches of the bereaved. When I breathe my last and stand in the Presence of His Eternal Majesty to answer for my life, I want to know those I have left behind will be praying for the Lord to have mercy upon my soul.

Didn't someone once tell me, during my years at Catholic school, that you really can't pray for the dead? Their lives have run their course, how they spent their lives has writ what their eternity will be. Pray for the living so that they will become aware of God's grace and follow its dictates.
My grandson declared that these things were the strongest ones - God, hearts, music and love.
Music is universal. When you hear the music the deceased loved, whatever it may be, you are learning even more about them. They will live in your heart with their music and you will smile and remember and maybe even learn from them.
To what sorry state has the church come when banning personal music choices is the sign of a correct remembrance of the dead.
I agree with Mr. Kennedy's source - give the archbishop another few meaningful jobs to occupy what is seemingly an emptiness in his life.

How in God's name can Kennedy pick a fight without knowing the facts? He read a second-hand article about a bishop banning “romantic ballads, pop or rock music, political ... and football club songs” at funerals and jumped to the conclusion that this was another case of what he calls "the reform of the reform" -- and, of course, a manifestation of the church's insensitivity to sexual abuse of children by priests: "Maybe he and other archbishops should think of what sex abuse does to children by taking away their playfulness, often for a lifetime." Does he know this bishop? Does he know for a fact that he has given less thought to the effects of sex abuse than Kennedy has? Of course not; he knows nothing at all about the man he is excoriating. Kennedy always uses whatever story he finds in the morning news as an excuse to tilt at windmills, real or imagined. This, too, is abuse.

Does Eugene Kennedy really think that Frank Sinatra singing "I did it my way" is appropriate music for a Catholic funeral mass?

You better hope, former priest, Eugene Kennedy, that the faithful sing and pray for the repose of your soul when you "bite the dust"...
gimme a break...
Praying for the dead is a spiritual work of mercy.
You better hope that someone, somewhere prays for you, buddy.
You're gonna need it.

Every so often I attend a funeral when the priest saying the mass actually really knew the deceased person which really makes for a totally different experience. Otherwise, I can almost guess what most of the priest will say as they try to personalize the funeral somewhat. If the deceased person is a young child, a young soldier, accident victims or often a young mother or father who are leaving behind children, some of the comments written here are quite harsh. Most of us are in shock and grief of having lost an important person in our lives, so what's wrong with letting people have some input as to meaningful songs and hearing memories from the friends and family members of the deceased. All the thoughts of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory come into our thoughts soon enough. Unlike one of the previous contributors, my hope is that I fall into the loving arms of God when I die and that I do not have to stand before his Eternal Majesty.

As a practising member of the Melbourne church, I want to be nice about Archbishop Hart, so here goes. He's a superb administrator! His desk is clear every evening, letters are answered immediately (if they're going to be answered at all, I must admit).
He has no pastoral sense, true, no vision and no understanding of the meaning of "Incarnation". But compared to his administrative ability, and his loyalty to the Vatican and its edicts, are these deficiencies really important? Let's get our priorities right!

It seems that you're missing the point here. It doesn't seem that the archbishop is saying never to use those things that one associates with the dearly departed loved one. Rather, it's just not appropriate to impose them on the sacred liturgy. The liturgy is, first and foremost, the act of giving praise to God and the music should be liturgically appropriate for the occasion.

However, there's certainly nothing wrong with playing favorite musical pieces, of whatever variety, at the gathering following the funeral or even following the vigil service before the funeral mass. Let the Mass be the Mass when we gather to pray for the deceased as well as thank God for his/her life. But let us also honor the memory of the person as we share memories, bread break, and raise a glass at the wake!

It's not a question or either/or. It's both/and, with each having it's appropriate place.

As one of our priests recently put it in his Sunday homily:   "God really likes us and finds us interesting" — that said within the context of discussing the gospel message of the lengths to which a loving God will go to seek and rescue us...   be it a wandering sheep who knew it was lost,   or more like a coin that couldn't possibly "know" itself to be lost.     The depths of God's love defies our human reasoning,   because we ourselves so often fail to truly love.
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Our Lord died on the cross for real people...   not for an institution or a dried-up liturgical form.     He loved people,   and showed us what God is like in how he related to people with a generous love unfettered by harsh rules.
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How sad that so many clerics choose to use the grief of survivors as a venue for battering God's loved people with fearsome pictures of hell-fire and the dashing of Christian hope with dreary ritual.     Inducing fear is also a human means of control,   something the current hierarchy seems fixated upon achieving at every opportunity.
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A funeral that celebrates life and hope also celebrates the gospel message — a message telling us that this individual's life,   in all its humanity,   mattered to God.     It is healing and encouraging for God's people who are THE Church,   and for those left behind.     It is a true reflection of our incarnate Lord and His life-giving message of love,   even within the human experience of death.

The Church of the Heavy Hand continues to clamp down and tell its members what it needs when its members disagree and openly beg for more nourishment. Yet continue to be ignored and told to be quiet, "Holy Mother Church knows best." Does it not become obvious that ways around the heavy hand will arise?

Didn't the early Christians avoid the heaviest of hands? Throughout the years didn't hundreds of thousands find ways to continute to express their Faith? Why should Rome remain so blind to history and the real needs of its members?

Why cannot funeral masses have a fixed section and then an optional section for family of the deceased to celebrate the deceased's life within the Church which the Church claims is a welcoming place but then she closes the door unless we agree to be welcomed as she directs us?

The more one loves Catholicism, the more one realizes and cries over the absurdity of Rome.

"The real problem may be that archbishops don’t have enough to do. That probably explains why Archbishop Denis Hart of the Melbourne, Australia archdiocese recently banned “romantic ballads, pop or rock music, political ... and football club songs” at funerals -- explaining that the ceremonies should be devoted to prayer for the soul of the deceased."

The AB needs serious remedial education because everything he banned are the most precious, efficacious prayers any of us could ever pray for the soul of the deceased.

Some people have a taste for schlocky drivel; others do not.

I happily refer readers to this post over at PrayTell. You may be a bit surprised!

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/09/16/verboten-secular-songs-...

Control, control and still more control. This appears to be what the hierarchy is all about now. Very little in the way of being pastors. Does anybody care what they say? I don't and neither does anybody else I know.

I wonder if these pedantic men understand that God does not always do what they tell him to do?

The Archbishop should consult with his faithful before issuing such blanket edicts. Some of the liturgical ideas of the 60's may have been excessive. Some liturgies drove me crazy. But the culture and feeling of the people should also have some role in deterining how liturgy is celebrated,provided it does not smother the objective nature of the liturgy. The '60's were not such a lamentable time. I hope some of the decades values continue,e.g. social justice, women's rights, concern for the deprived.

Help me understand - -
Where exactly does the congregation sing the football songs? Maybe during the preparation of the gifts? Maybe while the family processes in with the coffin?

Presumably the Aussies sing their football songs at all their major life events. Typically where do they insert the football songs into a wedding or a baptism liturgy? Is this outlined somewhere in the VII documents?
Can some erudite liturgist give me a citation?

On most issues, I guess I'd end up being tagged as a progressive liberal "schismatic" Catholic (or whatever other names get tossed around here), but I share the notion that pop songs and sports anthems don't belong at Catholic funeral masses. Such things are just not appropriate for that venue and willy-nilly injection of "grandma's favorite Irish ballad" or "that sweet country song about butterflies" cheapens and dilutes the purpose of the funeral mass, which, sorry to say, isn't about nostalgia or closure or whatever the latest pop-psych term might be. The funeral isn't about praising the dead person--the mass praises the Lord. If the family wants to share stories, sing secular music the deceased enjoyed and tell all those slightly off-color stories usually only shared late on Thanksgiving night, and wind it all up with a rousing chorus of the Notre Dame fight song, I'm all for it: the wake or post-funeral gathering is an excellent place for all that and I'll gladly stay 'til the very end! But keep that out of the Mass of Christian Burial. I do think there is a place for a family member or close friend to share a remembrance at the funeral, but it should be brief, decorous and honor the sacred setting and purpose (how did this person live their faith, what lessons did our mother/father teach us that we want most to remember, etc) and there's no reason the priest celebrating the funeral mass shouldn't work closely with the family to ensure that the songs, readings, and remembrance speech are appropriate. Sorry if this sounds too harsh, but it's a sacred rite, not some Oprahfied emoti-thon.

I have to agree with the archbishop on this one. There are other times and places--the wake and the graveside, for instance--the deceased's loved ones can sing their favorite secular songs. Heck, they can have pole dancers and mosh pits if they want. If they are too busy to spend the extra time or too lazy to plan it, well that says a lot about how important the deceased person is to them.

I think RobM reflects well about The Mass of the Resurrection! It would seem often times when it is celebrated it appears more to be a Mass for Cannonization! What was but a few short days ago a living, breathing human being,with all the imperfections that implies, by the act of death has become instantly a member of the heavenly choir, singing away with the rest of the saints, enthralled in the Beatific Vision! We reflect on the life just past, enhancing its glories beyond the real and replacing the deceased's fragilities with virtuosites never known to exist...ignoring,perhaps even disbelieving,the teachings of the Church on the last things. If we were to reflect on the reality of our deceased standing in Particular Judgment before the Lord of Life would we not be more likely to pray our hearts out for mercy for our departed friend/relative recalling as we do in every Mass that it is the death of our Savior, Jesus Christ, we are offering, in petition for every possible grace to fall upon the surviving soul, pleading for eternal clemency? Of course then we would have to admit our own humble position from which we plead..and admit we are a broken people in need of a Savior.The deceased might be better served if we were to save the frivolity for the time following the actual funeral mass where it might seem more appropriate and serve better the survivors with their mourning! Most Catholic funeral-masses today ignore the meaning of death...by over-playing the celebratory aspect of the life just past....and thus ignore also the meaning of this life, making our journey toward destiny nothing more that a "romp"! Again, Mr Professor you have succeeded in watering down the Faith!

I am torn on this one.

On one hand, I agree that some secular songs are inappropriate for a Mass of Christian burial. But there are others that might bring comfort to the bereaved.

I also have to question where this rigidity gets us. My 87 year old great aunt died recently. She was a faithful Catholic with a special devotion to the Blessed Mother. Years ago she and my uncle (her nephew) had discussed her funeral and decided that he would place roses on the shrine to Mary during the mass. The priest told my uncle that he could do no such thing during the Mass.

This makes no sense to me.

Why not open a spot in the Mass of Christian Burial that allows the family to personalize it. It could even be a matter of choosing a special scripture or other sacred reading or a reflection on a saint who influenced the deceased. Surely these things are not offensive.

I have begun realized that there is no shortage of vocations in the Church, everybody wants to be Pope especially theologians.

for heaven's sake - how about a little nuance here! Do we have to have these blanket bans? is it not possible to offer guidelines and basic principles, such: "while always respecting the solemn, spiritual and eschatological qualities of the funeral Mass, it may be appropriate to include in the liturgy dignified symbols, songs etc that have special significance for the honouring the life of the person who has died, and for the sake of the bereaved. These should never be allowed to dominate the liturgy, however. Secular, non-religious songs may be played, if they have unique significance, before the liturgy begins, or if they are suitable, as the recesssional or after the liturgy concludes. Sensitivity to the wishes of the bereaved and the particular life journey of the deceased are important and should be respected. They should also be balanced with what is appropriate for a solemn liturgy, for the rite of Christian funerals, and for the eucharistic celebration.
The pastor of the parish is primarily responsible for discussing and, if necessary, negotiating with the bereaved about these matters, and his own personal tastes must not be the deciding issue. If these discussions do not result in calm and communal resolution in a particular situation, then the matter will be resolved by discussions involving the pastor, the bereaved, and a liturgical/pastoral representative of the bishop. However, the burden is on the local pastor to find ways of coming to respectful, peaceful and mutual agreements on what is suitable for individual funeral liturgies".

There now, was that so hard??
Let's start thinking like adults - and require that pastors and bishops treat us as adults!

I knew something was wrong when I read "Mass of the Resurrection."
The "Mass of Christian Burial" is just that, a Mass that commends the deceased to the infinite mercy of God on the day of planting to await the final harvest into the new heavens and new earth.

At 75 I know all about the black vestments and the "Dies Irae," and "Libera Me"s of the former days. I can still sing them from memory. But the white vestments and (very American) denial of death also rub me the wrong way.

The corporate nature of eschatology has been reduced to a very individualistic instant heaven. We are back to a good soul escaping from an evil body like a genie escaping from a bottle. There is little sense of death as a participation in the saving death of Christ. I think Dr. Kennedy (whom I always enjoy reading) needs to look at N.T. Wright's "Surprised by Hope."

When I go to funeral Masses I really want to pray that my deceased friend may peacefully rest in the death of Christ until he appears in glory.

One of the things we are quickly losing in our catholic faith expression is the sense of joy and play that Dr. Kennedy mentions. New liturgical rules are NOT for the person whose life we are celebrating in a funeral; instead, those rules are to satisfy a church hierarchy obsessed with rules and order. We are slowly returning to a time when organs will be the only instruments to be used in church and the Glory & Praise hymnals will be considered too liberal. The St. Louis Jesuits and the Canadian Redemptorists introduced us to meditative, reflective and upbeat church music that resonated with so many people. Now we're going back to 18th century hymns. Is it any wonder that fewer and fewer people can relate to the catholic church? Seven sacraments for the boys, six sacraments for the girls.