An opening day reading

Heidi Schlumpf | Apr. 5, 2012 NCR Today

I could write about Xavier University in Ohio dropping birth control coverage [1] for its employees. Or the pope chastising priests [2] who support women's ordination. Or about the Vicki Kennedy graduation speech controversy [3].

But I've done enough penance this Lent. Instead, I'll share this "Opening Day Genesis" reading by Glenn Birkemeier from McSweeney's for Opening Day, which I learned about from a fellow Catholic press colleague. If "And God said, Let there be light beer" doesn't make you smile, I can't help you.

In the big inning, God created Heaven on Earth. And it was without form, and void. God separated the dirt from the grass. He called the grass Outfield and the dirt He called Infield. God made the Infield a 90-foot square and the Outfield not less than 400 feet to center and 320 feet down the lines. He declared this Fair Territory. All other territory, God then declared, was Foul.

Read the rest here [4]. Go Cubs!