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PDF versionAdvent: Broken down in Indiana
Dec. 16, 2009
© Ta_samaya | Dreamstime.com
Smoke pouring out from under the hood of your car is never a good thing.
In this case, it turned out to be steam, not smoke, but combined with a temperature gauge that kept pushing past “H,” we knew we had a problem. To make things worse, we were returning from an out-of-state Thanksgiving trip and were a good three hours from home.
As we exited the freeway in search of a mechanic, we were greeted with a strip with every chain imaginable: Walmart, Olive Garden, Best Western -- all of which we would frequent over the next three days while waiting for a garage in a 50-mile radius to open. Vestiges of Indiana’s blue laws meant no one could look at the car until Monday.
I’m all for honoring the Sabbath, but when you need an emergency car repair, it can be a real pain. Although we considered renting a car to get home and trying to facilitate our car repair from 150 miles away, eventually we decided to just hunker down and wait.
Waiting is not a very popular thing to do these days -- if it ever was. We are annoyed by the little waits: for the long check-out line, for the microwave popcorn to pop, for the results of Friday’s math test. And we are terrified of more serious waits: for Mr. or Ms. Right, for a child, for the results of the biopsy.
In fact, it is fear that makes waiting so hard. If we were sure that everything would turn out OK in the end, it wouldn’t be so hard to wait. While my husband and I were waiting to adopt our children, it wasn’t just that it was taking so long, but that deep down we were terrified we might never be parents.
We learned a lot about waiting during those years -- that it was easier to wait with others and in community, and that God was with us in our waiting. Waiting is a spiritual practice, one all Catholics get to hone every year during the four-week boot camp that is Advent.
Ironically, it is during those weeks that Americans are most bombarded by a consumer culture that tells us we shouldn’t have to wait for anything -- unless you’re a Black Friday shopper camping out in front of a store waiting for a 4 a.m. sale.
Shopping is all about urgency. Buy now! Supplies are limited! Be the first to have the new model! Why save up for a new TV when there are no payments until January 2011? You work hard; why not treat yourself? And why shouldn’t your child have the Zhu Zhu Pet or iPhone?
Previous generations taught their children the lessons of delayed gratification -- that something you waited for was that much sweeter, and that you were a stronger person for being able to wait. A friend recently admitted that her children have never had to do without anything they have wanted. She was rightfully concerned about contributing to the “entitlement generation.”
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She is the same friend who, about 10 years earlier, remarked that she could remember exactly when she stopped looking at price tags before buying things. That financial freedom felt oddly uncomfortable for her.
I think it’s because she knows the value of waiting.
As parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children how to wait. Of course, the best way to teach is to practice what we preach, by modeling delayed gratification and living in the present moment. But ironically it is my 2-year-old who encourages me to “be here now.” For him, there is nothing else.
For all he knew, those three extra days at a hotel in Indiana were all part of the Thanksgiving weekend plan. He got to push the buttons on the hotel elevator, play with the ice machine and eat crackers in a king-sized bed.
I was a little slower to accept that I couldn’t do anything about our situation, but once I did, I made the best of it. I soaked for a few minutes in the hotel Jacuzzi, enjoyed not having to cook and ate crackers in bed, too.
In the end, our car repair was expensive, but not as dire as we first thought. That extra expense will affect how much we can spend on Christmas gifts this year. But that’s not what’s really important, after all.
Your positive lessons form
Your positive lessons form the experience are inspiring. At the same time, you might have saved a lot of money and time better spent if you belonged to AAA Plus or a similar motor club!
Loved your story. I am 73
Loved your story. I am 73 years young and certainly know what it is to wait.
I grew up in Southern Indiana, one of seven children. Our Christmas presents, after Santa quit coming at age 6, were very few, indeed. If we needed a new winter coat in November (if somebody's hand-me-down would not fit) my mother would say "Pick the kind and color you want out of the Sears catalog and that will be your Christmas present. There actually was one exciting year that my older sister and I got roller skates. We opened them a week or so before Christmas when they came in the mail from the catalog.
We loved Christmas because we stayed up to attend Midnight Mass and my mother would have something prepared for us to eat when we got home. We loved the Christmas music at church, and on the radio at home. We loved the chocolate candy that my father bought only at Christmas. The family doctor, who lived twenty miles away and made house calls, would bring our family a fruit cake every Christmas. I still love fruit cake to this day. We waited for lots of things. New shoes waited. My dad would place a piece of cardboard inside the shoe to cover the hole and we could wear the shoes a little longer. I think, because we waited, the joy of everything we received was relished and appreciated.
This is written by a member
This is written by a member of the priveleged class, middle or not. I wonder how it would feel if you could not afford the hotel with the Jacuzzi, or find that your only problem is spending less on Christmas presents was instead maxing out your credit card and facing bankruptcy? I cannot sympathize with you, except for your lack of empathy or those less fortunate.
As far as Advent being book camp, that I don't get at all. I am a Catholic who thinks according to conscience, not the Magisterium, and I know Advent s SUPPOSED to be a celebration of the coming of Jesus. After angling in ANGLICAN waters (a nod to Hans Kung) I find is better to stick with the fact that Jesus is the Christ and Son of God than become so liberal that Jesus is no longer divine.
But I can believe that and be Protestant too. This article further convinces me that the average Catholic in the pews is out of touch with reality, both within and without the church.
Lighten up, Francis! It's
Lighten up, Francis! It's amazing that people can take something lighthearted and turn it into the Watergate papers!
Ms. Schulmpf has taught us simply that. Be light, worry not, for when you are ready serious, you are also seriously dead.
I was a child during the
I was a child during the depression and one lesson that we learned is that you never bought anything without having the money in hand. Every day I passed the Sears store coming home from school. There was a pair of roller skates in the window that cost 2.99. In those day you could not ask your parents, no one had extra money. However I saved every penny, nickel, and dime that I found or that came my way. I waited a long time and the day I had the money in hand, I sloughed through the rain to the Sears store to purchase the skates. I was 8 years old. I cherished those skates for a long time. It taught me a life lesson that has served me well throughout my lifetime.
Your story sounded a lot like
Your story sounded a lot like my own, broken down in eastern Colorado and having to be back in Indiana for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. I cried and prayed a lot, but my family was safe and we eventually got back home in time to celebrate with my parents and my nine siblings. Thanks for sharing.
The concept of waiting is so
The concept of waiting is so hard for us to do and accept that some of the people who commented didn't "get" what you were saying. Thank you so much for this very clear example of why we need waiting as a spiritual exercise. I believe our aversion to waiting causes social problems such as unwed pregnancy, maxed out credit cards, road rage. etc., etc. Waiting makes Christmas so much sweeter, it makes everything we wait for sweeter. The Church in her wisdom has gifted us with Advent so that for a short time we can learn the difficult practice of waiting, waiting in joyful hope.
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