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David learns to use his sling
by Nicole Sotelo on Sep. 03, 2009
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Printer-friendly versionSend to friendPDF versionA simple sling, used skillfully in biblical times, was known to take down a giant. Two weeks ago, a 39-year old modern-day David used a microphone at a news conference, instead of a sling, and helped to bring down a colossal silence about sexual abuse that had stood over him for 25 years.
Because of Mark McAllister’s courage to speak out, the story of Fr. Carmine Sita, aka Fr. Gerald Howard, was heard by thousands. Sita was convicted of abuse in New Jersey, legally changed his name, and was quietly sent to an unsuspecting Missouri parish where he molested again. Within two weeks of McAllister’s disclosure, the telephone began ringing at SNAP, the Survivor’s Network of those Abused by Priests. One by one, voices on the phone -- each one courageous, all tragically linked in a web of victimization -- declared that they, too, had been abused by the same priest.
By the end of last week, seven more survivors had joined Mark in breaking the silence. It appears that the abusive priest has lived freely for more than two decades, potentially putting other children at risk. Now that the silence has been broken, there is pressure on the diocese and the courts to ensure the priest will not harm others. Speaking truth saves lives.
As a child, my parish suffered two pedophile priests within a twelve-year period. Mothers spoke in hushed tones in the church parking lot after school. Priests in the pulpit spoke about God’s love but remained silent about rapes by clergy.
Silence and whispers have been the rule in Catholic culture when it comes to sexual abuse, but this culture allows criminals to walk freely and forces survivors to remain in fear. I confess I have been culpable of the sin of silence.
It’s not easy to talk about or take action to heal the wounds of sexual abuse. It is not something easily broached over donuts after church. Proclaiming the truth from the housetops, as the biblical exhortation goes, has come slowly to Catholics. But that is changing.
Survivors and laity are learning to speak up and doing so beyond just housetops.
In the diocese of Baker, Ore., a group of laity recently succeeded in getting an op-ed placed in their local paper. The editorial rang the alarm that the bishop continues to refuse to implement an abuse-prevention program, promised seven years ago in the bishops’ own Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People.
Concerned Catholics in the Lincoln, Neb., diocese have used news conferences and newspapers to warn parents to protect their children because the bishop has ignored the U.S. bishops’ own mandate for diocesan-wide background checks and abuse-prevention programs.
Catholics and non-Catholics alike are coming together from across New York state to push legislation that would allow sexual predators, and those who shield predators, to be brought to justice (www.nychildvictimsact.org).
Catholics across the country are slowly learning that the Goliath culture of silence in Catholicism that threatens the lives of children and our entire faith community must be brought down. We are learning how to shatter the culture of silence; learning to proclaim in the light what we have known for decades in the dark.
I can only hope that we can all be as brave as the survivor Mark McAllister in speaking the truth -- about our own abuse or helping to stop the abuse of others. What we have heard in whispers, what we fear to say, must be proclaimed from the housetops … and in news conferences, blogs, vigils and courtrooms.
The heroes of our time are the Mark McAllisters among us and those who stand in solidarity with him and other survivors. The modern David is the one who slays the culture of silence that threatens our children using the sling of modernity: our voice.
If you know of abuse taking place or are a survivor, contact SNAP at 1.877.762.7432 or SNAPDORRIS@gmail.com.
Nicole Sotelo is the author of Women Healing from Abuse: Meditations for Finding Peace, published by Paulist Press, and coordinates www.WomenHealing.com. A graduate of Harvard Divinity School, she currently works at Call To Action.
Bravo!
Bravo!
The folks who demand that
The folks who demand that their bishops meet the terms of Dallas Charter and implement programs such as Virtus are to be commended.
However, they should also be aware that such programs often fail to get at the underlying issues of clericalism and secrecy.
For example, I recently asked the Diocese of Oakland's Archivist a seemingly harmless question: Where did a priest, whom they admit was a serial abuser and for whom they held apology service, and who has been deceased for more than 20 years, attend high school.
Now the answer that came back was that it was a "confidential" matter.
This, from the Diocese which trumpets its program for abuse survivors called, ironically, "No More Secrets."
As it turns out, the priest in question's CV is well-documented in a biography which he himself authorized, as well as in other publically-available locations. So it isn't like I couldn't find out that he attended the Diocese of San Francisco's (of which Oakland was a part) minor seminary St. Joseph's college and matriculated in Rhetoric in 1930.
Be that as it may, it shows that the culture of secrecy and non-cooperation with requests for information is alive and well and living in the chancery offices.
Information which could help and affirm survivors, such as accurate assignment records even of deceased priests is conveniently labeled as "personnel" information and thus obfuscated. The dioceses play the confidentiality card like the government plays the "national security" card when they have something to hide, or simply on general principles of feeling that this information is none of the laity or the public's business.
Fortunately, networks of survivors such as SNAP are able to piece together the information which they have and to complete most of the picture. Granted, it takes much more time and effort than if dioceses and religious orders would simply come clean and honor the Dallas Charter's promise of "transparency," but it gets done in spite of them.
Note one exception--- the Philadelphia Archdiocese has made available the curriculum vitae and statuses of all credibly accused priests--- these prove very useful and save endless hours of networking and pouring over Catholic Directories.
Flat out - The Church should
Flat out - The Church should not be about secrets and silence. The Church should be the first seeker of truth and it should be willing to say so out loud. God is Truth we proclaim and then hide him behind the sins of the people who should be teaching the Good News.
Nicole, Your inspiring words
Nicole,
Your inspiring words and the story of justice and healing serve as reminders of what we must do in order to clean up our church and restore it to God and each other, no matter how painful.
Thank you for your story and I enjoy your articles.
Enough is enough of this.
Enough is enough of this. Nearly every diocese in America has some form of child protection program. Nearly everyone who works for a diocese, from priests to seminarians, from teachers to volunteers, has to complete some form of training and background checks. What more do these people want?
There are other pressing issues to deal with now, and the Church needs to return to its primary mission of evangelization. It's time to move on.
Enough is when the abuses
Enough is when the abuses stop, and are prevented from occuring again--not when we grow tired of hearing about them. Integrity is a condition for evangelization.
Yes, let's move on. Let's
Yes, let's move on.
Let's leave put the abuse--- and the survivor behind us.
Ever notice? It's impossible to put something--- or someone--- behind you without turning your back on it, or them.
But no---- let us concentrate on the "attractive" poor, the ones we feel good about helping because, well, our instution wasn't the prime-mover in their impoverishment. So taking care of them isn't penance, but virtue!
Let's look at the oppressed where looking into their eyes doesn't force us to ask hard questions about the institution which is our spiritual center.
All of this constant talk about sexual abuse just gets in the way of our mission, now doesn't it?
And by the way, in all of the programs I've seen in dioceses and religious orders, not one, not a single one, actually includes any sort of meaningful dialogue inclusive of the laity into the actual antecedants of sexual abuse by clergy. Not one! I don't see dioceses fostering discussions of how religious formation is done; nor about how to ensure that only psychosexually mature and well-adjusted people are ordained or given jobs in ministry. Nor do I see anything meaningful in the way of actions to be taken before somebody acts out and harms a child or vulnerable adult.
Nor have I ever had an adequate answer to the following question:
"If we make a rule that a priest is not to be alone with a child, won't a priest who is inclined to sexually molest a child be equally inclined to break the rule about being alone with him or her?"
None of those programs seem to address that...
Anon raises a good question.
Anon raises a good question. When will it be enough?
It will be enough when justice is done and trust is restored within Catholic ranks.
You can't very well save others when your own vessel is leaking.
When will the LCWR also
When will the LCWR also recognize their own faults in this area and bring them to light?
It is not time to move on
It is not time to move on quite yet. If you know your bible you know that the Temple was completely destroyed by the Romans after the death of Jesus. This is how God responds to evil in His Church. You have seen nothing yet. The whole of the current temple will be destroyed because Rome has not repented and continues to protect clerics and all their sins. The priesthood is now so corrupted by clericalism and secrecy that it is impossible to reform or change the Vatican and its stranglehold of evil on the church of Jesus Christ. Therefore, we know from the Bible exactly what God will do to the church of Rome. It will be destroyed just like the Temple of old. And out of the dust will come a new church of Jesus Christ. But first the Vatican must fall and be destroyed. Because it is completely beyond reform. I love the church and go to daily Mass. But I have to hold my nose from the stench when I receive communion. Because Communion is pure regardless of the corruptness of the clerics. And some day we will have once again saintly priests and bishops. But not in my life time.
Thank You Nicole, Excellent
Thank You Nicole,
Excellent article!, nothing makes the heart more @ peace with the sounds of a voice speakiing in the spirit of Truth.
When is enough, enough? only God knows! the heart of the church and the heart of God are not one.
What more do these people want? What would God want?
How can one move on when the cornerstone of thee has been rejected?
What would God want? actions to back up his word? his word is Truth and Truth shall prevail.
For his design to return to their original state? that is for some.
Why shouldn't all who silently knew not be held accountable also?
"we all share in each other sin, than offer it up".
Thank You Nicole, Excellent
Thank You Nicole,
Excellent article!, nothing makes the heart more @ peace with the sounds of a voice speakiing in the spirit of Truth.
When is enough, enough? only God knows! the heart of the church and the heart of God are not one.
What more do these people want? What would God want?
How can one move on when the cornerstone of thee has been rejected?
What would God want? actions to back up his word? his word is Truth and Truth shall prevail.
For his design to return to their original state? that is for some.
Why shouldn't all who silently knew not be held accountable also?
"we all share in each other sin, than offer it up".
"Enough Is Enough", YOU ARE
"Enough Is Enough", YOU ARE WRONG! There is nothing more important on this earth than the safety of children. AS one who has been on the, "Receiving End" of Sexual Victimization by a Roman Catholic Priest, followed by the Betrayal and Abandonment of Church Leaders I can assure you that Society would not have such monstrous troubles if children were only treated with the Kindness, Understanding, Dignity, Respect and Common Decency that all Children of GOD Deserve. If hearing about children being sexually brutalized by Roman Catholic Clergy ruins your day, that's too bad. Better to have your day ruined by hearing or reading about it, than to have your entire life ruined by experiencing it. We VICTIMS Are Speaking Out And We Are Here To Stay. Because WE Have Spoken Out, For The First Time In The History Of The Roman Catholic Church, HER Children Are Safer.....AND WE AIM TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.
BTW, "Enough Is Enough", What Are You Doing To Protect Children?
It is not "time to move on"
It is not "time to move on" because still nothing is being done to end the clerical culture of silence, obfuscation, abuse of the vulnerable.
Bishops and priests, cardinals and popes who ordered the cover-up or the perpetrated the abuse of children and seminarians have still not been brought to justice.
They are criminals who engage and engaged in criminal activities.
They must be brought to justice, this abuse and culture of predation and secrecy and minimalization of the abuses and complicity and crimes must end.
No, it is time to keep on bringing the criminals to justice, not "move on."
Stop ordaining closet
Stop ordaining closet cases/momma's boys with the psychological age of 7th graders and you might be on the way to solving the problem.
What more do they want? They
What more do they want? They want action on the promises made by the bishops, not just empty words. How can there be more pressing issues than to protect our children and heal those who have been violated? How can you expect anyone to respond to evangilization from a Church that refuses to take care of the people already in it?
I think Greg Bullough hit the
I think Greg Bullough hit the nail on the head at the end of his last post when he suggests that abusive priests (and lay) will simply not follow the guidelines. Despite all the guidelines from the USCCB and dioceses, where is the enforcement of the policies. I worked with children in my diocese without attending the 'diocesan required' training course. I did this on purpose just to see how long I could get away with it. Almost a year and then I basically turned myself in. I think I could have gone on forever and no one would have said a thing. So much for unenforced quidelines!
David Lorenz
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