When Anger Is Not Sinful

Anger per se is not at all sinful.

It is its expression that can be sinful.

Thus, the importance of the act of forgiving to the one harmed/hurt by another's words and/or actions.

Thanks, I needed this!

When I share my work with victims, inmates, individuals at homeless shelters, abused women, I shape a dialogue which incorporates Expressive Writing, and how we can use our anger as a vital and powerful teacher.

In relation to Forgiveness, I have just returned from Wichita, KS, having shared in a two-day talk with the wonderful Sr.Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking; in this talk I share how Forgiveness is a Process which takes time and deep, deep support. In sharing healing and hope with the man who murdered my Father, I underscore how we must invite newly deepening dialogue with Forgiveness that does not relegate it to some hard and fast rule. Again, anger plays the role of a poignant teacher here.

Sawbonna,
Margot Van Sluytman
www.MargotVanSluytman.com

Another good way to think of anger is that anger is a feeling. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. But if while feeling that anger, you haul off and slug someone - that action is the sin. Therefore, all confessionals should hang a sign overhead "Confess sins, not feelings."

There is anger and rage that comes from very early childhood failures, meaning that the primary caretakers of a child were unable to provide the security and nurturing that is required to form a healthy child or from other losses. That kind of anger and rage is difficult to process with just an anger journal and often gets in the way of extending forgiveness. The best thing I ever heard came in therapy from a psychiatrist who was helping me process the anger and rage I felt when I was left out of a family member's will. "It's not about the money ! What you are looking for is something you never got and will probably never get from "them". The insight came flooding in, as did the tears. He was absolutely right, the early childhood failures of love, nurturance, security and support was not there for me. I was able to make peace with my brother who inherited everything, something I doubt I would have been able to do without hearing "it's not about the money" and coming to terms with what I truly missed out on. Hope this helps those who have difficulty acknowledging or don't even know that they are angry.

I have residual childhood anger as in the previous post; faulty primary caretakers. This caretaker is now in my care, suffering from Alzheimer disease.
I have been angry that I have to help out with the care-taking because I do not feel that I was well taken care of as a child. I always was very vocal in my resistance to any such outcome. However, after some thought, prayer, reading, dialogue, etc, I realize that we (all of us) should not receive what we "deserve" in terms of treatment. We are all imperfect, having made mistakes in life and are in need of forgiveness. We should not be treated as we deserve. We should be loved no matter how unlovable we or someone may seem to appear. Yes, difficult.
I fear that if we were treated as we deserve no one would receive humane treatment.
So I care for this person, and instead of anger I feel compassion for her.
I have been able to make peace with myself over this issue. That's the best I can hope for, and I receive a sense of accomplishment. That being, I can have love for someone unable to return the favor. This is a matter of preservation of the species and not perpetuating violence.

Here is the solution :
Many people are like a living, active volcano--they tend to erupt and explode (Mount Vesuvius style or Mount Saint Helens style!). They let it all come out, and the smoke and lava pours forth! Those who live near or around the eruption must suffer from the damaging effects of man’s sinful anger and temper. Anger which is allowed to BLOW UP primarily hurts and destroys OTHERS (although the person who explodes will also be hurt, just as in firing a gun at another there is often a powerful recoil) http://www.kraloyun.us/
Thanks
Kral

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